If my calculations are correct, you'll be getting this letter on Monday, August 29, 2011, the day you found out you passed the North Carolina Bar Exam. Congrats, my man! It's been easy to romanticize Bar study as the years have gone by, but you totally embraced the grind every single day, and you earned every bit of it. You worked harder for this than you have for anything in your life, and this experience is going to set the stage for how you mentally approach difficult situations for the rest of your life. Not to immediately derail the joy train, but it ain't all flowers and sunshine from here. She's leaving soon. She hasn't told you yet, but you have less than a month. You know it needs to happen but that's not going to make it any less painful. It's still going to feel tragic, but, as far as breakups go, it's not going to be protracted or unnecessarily complicated. I would advise you to skip the month of wallowing in self pity, but since you're going to do it anyway, at least go easy on the alcohol and fried food--every pound that goes on has to come back off. Seriously though, hang in there, my man, beautiful things are just around the corner. This is going to be your moment, your time to explore the depths of your consciousness and embrace your true self. Poignant moments are in store, moments that are going to alter the course of your life. Be mindfully present in those moments, they happen fast. You're going to start taking yourself and your personal development seriously, and people are going to notice. Some people won't like it. Stay the course, resistance is part of transformation. You're going to date a few girls, a couple nice ones even, but they won't last long. You have a renewed sense of purpose and you don't have time to dawdle on the wrong relationships anymore. "You'll know when you know." Shittiest, trite love advice ever, amiright? Well, I've got news. In 156 days, on a chilly Wednesday night in February, you're going to walk into one of your favorite bars and see a woman you've never seen before, and you're gonna know
. Right now as I’m writing this she's in your living room packing. No, no, no...not that again ;) Your first place together is a cozy little rental, but after three years you're starting to outgrow it. So, next month you're closing on your new home together. Right now she's packing pictures. Pictures from your trip to Fenway Park your first summer together (Yankees won!), pictures from the weekend she took you to Charleston for your Birthday (oyster shooters!), pictures from your Brooklyn adventure eating pizza and seeing the Avett Brothers (I know!!)...pictures of the day you got married. [gallery columns="4" ids="214,207,206,228"] At the risk of spoiling too much, here's the most recent picture of you two... [caption id="attachment_190" align="aligncenter" width="665"]
Congratulations! You're having a...Millennium Falcon?[/caption] Life has been good to you, my man. But, before I leave you there's something important you need to understand, if you just sit on your hands and wait none of this is going to happen. You have to do the heavy lifting or this will never be your
life. This woman will never marry you
. This life belongs to a better man, a better you
. The kind of man worthy of such a woman. You’ve got exactly 3,744 hours. It's all going to be worth it. Do work. For some added motivation, a few high points you have to look forward to: [caption id="attachment_201" align="alignright" width="300"]
If 7th grade us only knew...[/caption]
- You’re married to her →
- You play guitar now,
- You have a podcast,
- You're well on your way to speaking a second language,
- You've conducted jury trials (a long way for a kid that was too petrified to give a book report in 4th grade!),
- You have an adorable pit-mix named Liberty. She's not so bright, but she's incredibly sweet,
- You're gonna be a dad,
- You've never been happier.
Sincerely, Your Biggest Fan P.S. - The cargo shorts and ironic t-shirts have to go. Yeah, I hear you, you're totally hip and super unique and all that. They gotta go. So, try to really enjoy your post-Bar Exam vacation, because you're gonna need to get a job asap, you have an entire wardrobe to purchase.